The primacy of energetics & the funhouse of conceptual thought

Clarification of terms:

  • conceptual thought is the lens of cognition whose contents are concepts.
  • concepts are abstract constructs that we *assume* are natural derivatives of the constituents of reality.
  • narrative faculty is the higher order mode of understanding that emerges from conceptual thought whereby conceptual thought is ordered into formulas of meaning (the chattering mind, thinking to oneself, internalized speaking, etc.)
  • logic the seemingly self-evident formulas of relationships between concepts
  • energetics the pre-verbal, pre-conceptual, lowest level cognitive abstraction , level of experience. non-local somatics, felt “energy” before any interpretation of it

Eventually, following the mechanics of logic leads to the logical limits. logical “lines” of reasoning are much more like self-perpetuating circles.

although energy is pre-verbal and narrative, and narratives are creative abstractions, that is not to say that anything goes. Energy moves and interacts from which a a level of meaning emerges closer to the conceptually abstract but intuitively understood level… which is why symbolic language is the kind of conceptual language most conducive to interacting with what is true. interestingly, although narrative conventional thought is degrees of abstraction away from direct experience, to the conceptual self the closer one gets to cognizing the level of direct experience, the more abstract the meaning seems. in a way, we use cognitive and hermeneutic abstractions in order to make the meaning appear less abstract -which is to say, to have more cognitively tangible resonance with our familiar dimensions of meaning-making ie. our networks of associations.

what is the implications of this system for mans search for meaning?

although meaning is not inherent to life on the level that we generally tend to interact and identify with life and meaning, one can align their conceptual faculties -if careful not to suffocate with too gross a grasp- with their energetic truth which is in harmony with collective truth. but this requires a proficiency with energy in order for the dynamic and subtle energetic truth to be channeled skillfully in the desired realm of meaning.

to despair due to a lack of truth is usually a symptom of attachment to a form or dimension of truth without adequate sensitivity to the feeling of truth behind (in a literal somatic sense) ones (identified) self.

the self is a conceptual construct in which we nest our sense of identity and thereby our perceptual center of gravity. conceptual experience then shapes and molds itself according to the architecture of the terrain formed by that center of identity and the associated forces identified on that level of being.

our culturally and biologically informed default is for our narrative faculties to minimize unwanted sensations and maximize wanted ones- so it takes a great deal of unlearning to dis-identify with this way of navigating the energetic and recalibrate our narrative faculties to be in alignment with our energy (rather than trying to force vice-versa).

gift from the shadows

 Coming to terms
 With the heartbreaking reality of creativity
 

 That inherent in every form 
 Is the necessity to divide & distinguish
 

 That inherent in every door
 Is the possibility to be shut in 
 

 That inherent in every structure 
 Is the threat of being enclosed
 

 That inherent in every quilt
 Is the potential of being unraveled 
 

 And it is this reality
 That haunts me in my shadows


 And it took being consumed by my own shadows
 to show me that this too
 Was a manifestation of divine mercy
 Too transparent for my eyes -too accustomed to stability- to see

 

 It was an invitation into my formless essence
 That my residual attachment to form 
 Tried to convince me that I wasn't ready to accept
 

 It was the painful and embodied realization of humility 
 That was the antidote to the crippling perfectionism I craved all along
 

 The humility that I will never be able to hold absolute truth 
 in my hand for all to see

 That it was a categorical error to assume that one key of form
 could unlock all the locks inherent in form


 That a metaphor could capture the totality of 
  the nuances of the experience of liberation

 
 The humility that
 What is redemptive is God-given
 And medicinal for a context
 
That what is Divinely bestowed 
is to be received with grace
not with grasping

 And that an un-purified mind & fearful heart
 Will project fault on even the most useful form
 

 That the essence is unsullied
 Even if my perception of the form is
 

 That there is a secret to matter
 That is too subtle for the grasping mind to appreciate
 

 Thus the gift I bring back from the shadows
 Is the awareness of subtlety 
 The awareness of transparency

 And how confused everything gets when we lose sight
 Of how seriously we take what was made to be light

A river illuminated by lanterns…

Welcome.

Momentos on the path is the continuation of a lifelong journey of collecting insights along the path of personal revelation. For the past few years, I have filled notebooks and sketchbooks with maps, diagrams, and meditations on the nature of reality & experience. At the same time, the creation of this virtual space marks a transformation in the way this project is carried out – a change beyond just a mere shift in medium.

This change in form(at) arose naturally from a recent change in my understanding of the role of insight & creative expression in my life… a shift in perspective born from the realization that I have experienced the following situation countless times:

I return to a journal or phone note that I had written years before containing a poem, reflection or quick note. It conveys a poignant flash of insight that I believed I had only recently realized for the first time in my life.

Seeing those seeds of wisdom from the past so perfectly support my current place on the spiritual path has clued me into the amnesic nature of the human experience. I may receive a momentary insight or idea that resonates with me deeply and has remarkable therapeutic effects & I may have phases of feeling very aligned spiritually… And re-discovering those momentos from the past has taught me that as long as I am participating in the world of time, identity and appearances, I will continue to experience cycles of alignment & remembrance and disorientation & forgetfulness.

Forgetfulness feels like distraction, like being weighed down by the happenings of the world of appearances, like feeling trapped in my own head, like feeling jaded by reality.

Remembrance feels like mindful presence, like playfulness & flirtiness, like exploration, like a spaciousness that allows for anything to arise within the self without threatening the peace…

When I had my first tastes of remembrance, i tried to hold onto the feeling for as long as i could. Now, with more experience, I am learning to accept and relax into the inevitable undulations of these cycles of rememberance and forgetfulness -having cultivated deeper degrees of faith in the underlying current of truth that exists throughout it all…

“Even if i can not see truth at the moment, it is there supporting me.”

It is ideas and images like these that serve as lanterns that can reassure & support me in dark times of forgetfulness.

This blog represents my personal affirmation of the utility of these momentos -insights captured in the form of writing, art, curation & expression- as integral sources of support along my spiritual journey.

As such, i’ve come to see creative expression as a chance to embed windows unto the underlying dimension of truth within the medium of time & matter.

May the light from these windows illuminate for all.